I thought we will share my views a little more about what we do with our children...
I know many parents who want their children to excel in almost every field. I will not blame any of us as parents to have that dream... After all, we want our children to be successful in their life. But, to achieve this why we force so many things on children?
What is extra-curricular activities? I went to Wikipedia for definition of extra-curricular activities and this is what it is:
When I was a student, for us extra-curricular activities meant no class, no study, just go out and play.... I played soccer, cricket or any other sport depending on which part of the ground was empty or less crowded...
I have seen quite a few students whose entire day time is packed with various activities including their school and the burden of home work which comes with it.
We all want our children to play cricket and become like Sachin Tendulkar or Kapil Dev.
We all want our children to learn abacus and other math techniques and become like Sagunthala Devi or Ramanujam.
We all want our children to learn music (vocal, instrument, etc..) and become like Ilayaraja, A R Rahman, SPB, etc.
We all want our children to learn dancing and become like another Padma Subramaniam or our kids starting their own Kalakshetra.
We all want our children to attend drawing classes in the hope one day they will become like M F Hussain (God rest his soul in peace).
Trust me, I am not against dreams of our kids becoming one of these great achievers. Personally, I myself a big dreamer (gotta blame it on my sun sign !!!!).
But most of the time we decide the extra-curricular courses for our children. We never ask them what they want to do.
My view on this is that why spend so much time on a these classes and training and pack our children with such a tight schedule when they may not choose any of these as their professional career when they grow up?
Rather, why not leave them (like the good old days when I grew up) to study and play whatever they want with other kids? Once they grow old enough to think on their own, they can decide on what they want to become in life and then we, as parents, help them get trained on it. I think this is better than packing them up with so many things in their young age.
My wife always wanted to put our kids in some sort of class (music, dance, painting, etc...) but I made it a point with her and convinced her to ask my kids what they wanted... I have two lovely daughters who are as confused as me I guess... :) My elder daughter started going to drawing class for a while and then decided she didn't like it... Decided to take up music (keyboard) and spent quite a bit of time and did well to go through few exams successfully. Once she entered 10th grade, now that keyboard is just a 'space occupier' in my living room.
My younger one is I think far better in her thinking... All she wants to become is a teacher in life and practices it on her own at home everyday!!!!! Can't blame a 4 year old who is so independent!! Now, my worry is she is also following the path of her sister... Started going to drawing class.... This is DeJa Vu for me.... !!! :) I don't want to end-up buying another piece of music instrument to occupy my living room!
Again, I don't want to waste my readers' time by telling them my stories....
My point is, why not let our children be free and choose what they want? As parents why not we just assist and advice them in making right choices. My idea is leave it to the kids and let them choose the line they want to excel in and then as parents let us support them to succeed there...
Any thoughts from my friends?
I know many parents who want their children to excel in almost every field. I will not blame any of us as parents to have that dream... After all, we want our children to be successful in their life. But, to achieve this why we force so many things on children?
What is extra-curricular activities? I went to Wikipedia for definition of extra-curricular activities and this is what it is:
Extracurricular activities are activities performed by students that fall outside the realm of the normal curriculum of school or university education.
Such activities are generally voluntary as opposed to mandatory, non-paying, social, philanthropic as opposed to scholastic, and often involve others of the same age.
When I was a student, for us extra-curricular activities meant no class, no study, just go out and play.... I played soccer, cricket or any other sport depending on which part of the ground was empty or less crowded...
I have seen quite a few students whose entire day time is packed with various activities including their school and the burden of home work which comes with it.
We all want our children to play cricket and become like Sachin Tendulkar or Kapil Dev.
We all want our children to learn abacus and other math techniques and become like Sagunthala Devi or Ramanujam.
We all want our children to learn music (vocal, instrument, etc..) and become like Ilayaraja, A R Rahman, SPB, etc.
We all want our children to learn dancing and become like another Padma Subramaniam or our kids starting their own Kalakshetra.
We all want our children to attend drawing classes in the hope one day they will become like M F Hussain (God rest his soul in peace).
Trust me, I am not against dreams of our kids becoming one of these great achievers. Personally, I myself a big dreamer (gotta blame it on my sun sign !!!!).
But most of the time we decide the extra-curricular courses for our children. We never ask them what they want to do.
My view on this is that why spend so much time on a these classes and training and pack our children with such a tight schedule when they may not choose any of these as their professional career when they grow up?
Rather, why not leave them (like the good old days when I grew up) to study and play whatever they want with other kids? Once they grow old enough to think on their own, they can decide on what they want to become in life and then we, as parents, help them get trained on it. I think this is better than packing them up with so many things in their young age.
My wife always wanted to put our kids in some sort of class (music, dance, painting, etc...) but I made it a point with her and convinced her to ask my kids what they wanted... I have two lovely daughters who are as confused as me I guess... :) My elder daughter started going to drawing class for a while and then decided she didn't like it... Decided to take up music (keyboard) and spent quite a bit of time and did well to go through few exams successfully. Once she entered 10th grade, now that keyboard is just a 'space occupier' in my living room.
My younger one is I think far better in her thinking... All she wants to become is a teacher in life and practices it on her own at home everyday!!!!! Can't blame a 4 year old who is so independent!! Now, my worry is she is also following the path of her sister... Started going to drawing class.... This is DeJa Vu for me.... !!! :) I don't want to end-up buying another piece of music instrument to occupy my living room!
Again, I don't want to waste my readers' time by telling them my stories....
My point is, why not let our children be free and choose what they want? As parents why not we just assist and advice them in making right choices. My idea is leave it to the kids and let them choose the line they want to excel in and then as parents let us support them to succeed there...
Any thoughts from my friends?
great one, true
ReplyDeleteTanveez... Thanks...
ReplyDeleteI am glad you are reading my blogs !!! :)
As parents, we have to create opportunities for our children. We should expose them to the various activities so that they come to know about it and then allow them to express their likes and interests without any pre set notions. Finally they should be allowed to take up what they like and what they are capable of.
ReplyDeleteExtra curricular activities are meant to prove and improve the versatility of a child. It may or may not give financial returns, but that is immaterial. One can have a degree in mathematics, good training in music and dance, eminence in painting, love for reading and passion for travel.
Only one among this will make his career and money. But can we say that all other activities which he has learnt and spending time on is a colossal waste because it is not making his money? Nope, not at all.
But on the other hand, there are people who take up certain art forms, and completely leave it in a nut shell just because of laziness. That can be called as complete disobedience and a total insult for that particular art form.
I learnt classical dance when I was young, along with academics and continued learning even when I grew up. Performed various programmes and then started teaching in my own institution. With a break in between, I was able to continue practicing even after having a child. (Thanks to my husband for his support and encouragement). Dance does not pay me financially, but it gives me great joy and pleasure and a divine feeling. My husband tells me that I can start teaching and have an institution on my own; this may or may not happen, but never in my life I will feel that the time and money I invested in this art form is a waste.
On your entire article, I agree with one thing that you said. Parents force these activities on their children. I totally agree with that as I have had students who were totally unwilling and came only because their mother wanted to be a dancer when she was young and she is making her dream come true through her daughter.
I like to add another point. In most families, grand parents, aunts and uncles also have influence on a child. Some "paattis" want their grand children to learn many slokas and so they are sent to sloka class. Then they are made as an exhibition exhibit when guests come home. "Shuklambaratharam sollu, kurai ondrum illai padu, appo dhan andha uncle unna good boy nu solluva. Appo dhan naan unakku chocolate vaangi tharuven"
I hate this and me and my husband were, are and always particular that our son should never be an exhibit and he should always have his free space.
Oops, I've typed so much... More than the original article from SK. Maybe I can start a blog of my own!!!! :)))
Devi,
ReplyDeleteI am not sure if my blog sounded that I want children to learn some art form or other extra curricular activity just for making money...
My whole point is that children should have interest and also we, as parents, should ensure they are not over burdened. If a child is over burdened, they just being children, will lose interest in one or other things. God forbid, what happens if they do not perform well in academics?
I am happy that you do continue as much as you can with dancing and also aware that there's something in the works for you to start your own dance institution.
My point is, what if you were not able to do any of this? You would have packed your time in young days for nothing... That's my whole point.
You should start your own blog... So that I can just be a commentator :)
The ROI part in my comment is only my point of view that I have put across. It is definitely not to oppose your views on the subject.
ReplyDeleteI had clearly mentioned about parents forcing children and make them pursue things against the child's interests. I had also given an example from my experience as a teacher.
Bottom line is, I agree with your viewpoint that children should be left free to decide on their own. But I said it in a very elaborate way. :)
I stumbled upon your blog from somewhere. Good thought and well written too.
ReplyDeleteIn my opinion, it is a very thin line between guiding the children and forcing the children into something. Parents need to know it.
Meantime, the children may not be consistent with any activity even if it interests them very much. The reason being the age is such that their attention span is very short since they are curious to know many things in a short time. There they need a push to be in a particular activity.
Show them all the options. Take them to a variety of places, performances, talks, exhibitions...They all have an effort put up by the persons in the background. Tell the child what they need to do. Seeing is believing for them. Don't just show them only the Tendulkars, AR Rahmans and Padma Subramanyams. Tell them each individual is an achiever in their own way provided they excel in what they do.
Revathi... Thanks for reading and sharing your thoughts on my blog.
ReplyDeleteYou are absolutely correct in saying "think line between guiding and pushing".... Knowing children and giving it to their age, even our guiding may be looked upon as "pushing" to them... So, we have to walk that thin ice very carefully so that they don't do it just because they think we are pushing them at it...
Once again, thanks for the kudos and stumbling upon into my blog !!!! :)